How to Self-Regulate

As someone who grew up with one eye warily looking through the lens of foster care, I’ve noticed there is an unspoken, acceptable way of dealing with emotions in most of society. Yet, ask any youth about their foster care experience, and our answers about how emotions were dealt with are wildly different from the […]

Movie Review: Absence Presence

From Foster Care Film, now airing on PBS

The new film “Absence Presence” from Foster Care Film follows the story of two young women – Charell and Camilla – who grew up in New York’s foster care system. Each tells the stories of heartache and resilience, from growing up in their families to journeying through foster care.

Charell lived with her great-grandmother when her parents were unable to care for her until her great-grandmother’s health began to fail. She then moved to several foster families. In the film, Charell shares what it was like for her living in foster care, including the feeling of being different. Besides being bounced between several foster homes, Charell was also reunified with her father and mother at separate times in her life. However, her father ended up back in prison, and she found it challenging to live with her mother after spending so many years of separation and overseeing the care of her younger sister. Charell ultimately opted to attend boarding school, allowing her sister and mother to build a mother-daughter relationship.

In the film Charell shares the values she found in her foster care experience: “It gave me a sense of independence and a sense of worldliness and street smarts and independence that most people don’t get.” Charell then goes on to say: “It gave me a different perspective on life and knowing that things are going to work out as long as I work for them to work out.” Today Charell is an adoptive parent and advocate for other youth in foster care.

The film then turns to Camilla, whose cystic fibrosis diagnosis made the neglect she experienced from the filthy conditions she was living in more difficult. Camilla’s early childhood was fairly normal until her mother lost her job in 2011 and her dad’s drinking increased. That’s when Camilla found her home life very difficult.

She ultimately ended up moving into her friend Maya’s family, who formalized the relationship after the Administration for Children Services got involved. Camilla shares that, “foster care validated so much for me.” Over time, Camilla’s relationship with her foster family was strengthened. “In foster care I’ve really learned the many definitions of family,” Camilla said, who was ultimately adopted by her foster parents as an adult.

“Absence Presence” not only showcases the stories of these two young women, but also highlights the multiple reasons why kids end up in foster care. Throughout the 30-minute film, there are small nuggets of wisdom from their experiences that foster parents can learn from. “Absence Presence” is definitely worth watching. You learn more about the film at https://fostercarefilm.com/absencepresence or watch on your local PBS channel.

“Absence Presence”
From Foster Care Film Community Engagement Project
Director Yasmin Mistry; 27.46 minutes

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