By Sara Tiano
If you’re caring for a teen, chances are high they will soon have the option to either become independent or transition into extended foster care.
Extended foster care is a voluntary program for young people who haven’t reunified with their family, been adopted or found another form of permanency by the time they turn 18. These teens can opt in to continued support and services through the foster care system, in most cases until they turn 21. Some states continue to provide supportive services and financial assistance to young adults beyond that, sometimes until age 23 or even 26 in certain circumstances, including New Hampshire, West Virginia and Louisiana.
The majority of states offer some form of extended foster care. Utah and Oregon do not, but do provide other supportive services to youth until age 21.
Roughly 144,000 young people between ages 18 and 21 were in foster care in 2022, the most recent federal data available.
The outlook can be bleak for those who leave foster care without permanency — they face high rates of homelessness and unemployment, and struggle to reach educational goals. In most places, extended foster care provides a monthly stipend to help cover the costs of housing, food and other basic necessities like utility bills and transportation. Participants may have access to supportive housing programs and continue to have case management with a child welfare social worker.
Typically, participating in extended foster care requires young people meet some eligibility criteria. These requirements often include working a certain number of hours per month or being enrolled in a minimum number of credits at a college, university or vocational school.
Theoretically, your child’s social worker will help them prepare for the nuts-and-bolts process of applying. But there’s plenty foster and kinship caregivers can do as well to help fill in the gaps and make sure your kid has everything they need to launch. Experts working with transition-aged youth share some tips on how you can help prepare and guide your youth into the process — and even start early, to give them the best chance at a smooth transition.
“They need a lot of support,” said Beth Ryan, founder and executive director of Stepping Forward, a Los Angeles-based nonprofit that supports youth transitioning out of foster care. “So if the foster parents can help with that, it just allows the young adults to have a chance to succeed.”
Figure Out Housing Plans
Perhaps the biggest hurdle for young people leaving foster care is obtaining safe, stable housing. Foster care is unfortunately a huge pipeline into homelessness: As many as 46% of young people exiting foster care without permanency will struggle with homelessness. And while extended foster care is supposed to provide this basic need, housing instability while in the program is not uncommon.
Part of the problem in many places is a lack of affordable housing, of course, but — like it is for all teens striking out on their own — the housing market is confusing and difficult to navigate without adult guidance.
“They don’t know what the options are,” Ryan said. “The best thing that a foster family could do is make sure that the young adult has a plan.”
And this goes beyond a one-time sit down, she said: “Really talking with them almost every day about a plan, like, ‘Where would you like to live? What kind of apartment would you like?’”
Foster parents can help teens do their research about the options that exist, get them connected to local organizations that offer housing resources and support, and help them identify any subsidies or vouchers they might be eligible for. Once they move into their new place, helping them get it set up and feeling homey can make a big difference, said Georgie Smith, founder of the nonprofit A Sense of Home, which creates homes and communities for young adults as they leave foster care.
If you’re inviting your young person to continue living in your home while in extended foster care as part of an independent living program, make some changes to the set up that helps the youth grow their independence. Make sure they’re directly receiving the monthly extended foster care stipend and budgeting to pay you for their rent or portion of utilities, as well as any other bills they have. If you want to and are financially able, you could consider saving the “rent” money they paid you and giving it back to them when they move out to use as a security deposit or savings, Ryan suggests.
Build Work History
Another key area foster parents can help out — long before a youth’s 18th birthday rolls around — is to help them get an after-school job and begin to learn skills like workplace etiquette and professional responsibility.
Ryan notes that 75% of youth leaving foster care have never had a job, and this sets them up for serious challenges when they’re suddenly expected to provide for themselves and hold down a job in order to remain eligible for extended foster care.
Creating a safe space for them to learn how to job hunt and have those sometimes rocky first job experiences or internships can help give them an edge when they need to work to survive. “Foster families could really help out by making sure that they do have some really strong work ethic before leaving care,” Ryan said.
You can also guide them by having conversations about what kind of career they want, and what education or training they’ll need to get there. Help them develop a step-by-step plan to get that schooling and identify any grants or vouchers they might be eligible for to cover education costs.
Encourage Goal Setting and Getting Prepared
When Smith is preparing a new home for a young person, one thing she does with them is create a vision board. It provides an opportunity for them to really think about the future they want for themselves, and the end product can remind them of those goals and motivate them to keep working for it.
“Their experience has been defined by other people,” Smith said. Transitioning to living independently “is like a really perfect moment to say, ‘I deserve this, I want this.’”
Smith’s team also helps put together a personalized resource booklet for each young person they serve that lists local organizations they can turn to for resources or support. This is a tactic foster parents can easily replicate, equipping their teen with important knowledge and a reminder of how much you care about them.
Impart Safety and Life Skills
Helping equip teens with basic life skills is key for any teen preparing to leave home, and especially so for those in foster care. Before they leave your home, make sure they have some basic skills and assets in place.
A key item on this list should be teaching them to drive, and helping them get a license. “Once you’ve aged out, it’s very difficult to find somebody that will help you get a permit, help you get a driver’s license and teach you how to drive,” Ryan said.
Other things might include helping them set up a bank account and helping them track down vital documents like Social Security cards or birth certificates. Work with them on learning to budget and do basic chores like laundry and cooking. Among these life skills that are most important for youth, Ryan said, is boundary setting and keeping themselves safe.
This might require foster parents to have challenging conversations with teens in their care about the dangers they might encounter. She notes that this population is particularly vulnerable to sex trafficking, and suggests foster parents have honest, direct conversations about dangers like this and how to avoid them.
“This is just what we have to do, really having those hard conversations, like you’re hanging around with a 25-year-old and you’re 17, right? Like, let’s really talk about this,” she said.
Focus on Community and Connection
Smith said her work setting up first homes for thousands of young people after foster care has been something of a listening tour. More than anything else, she said, they need people. “It’s that human contact is what they want, they want to feel seen and heard,” she said. “They want community, a family.”
Helping youth knit into their community while they’re in your home can help them both build lasting relationships with peers and adults, but also help them learn how to find groups that they’ll mesh with in the future. Encouraging them to get involved in clubs or sports at school is a great way to make this happen.
Plus, not only will it help them build a network of friends and supporters, these are also great avenues for building self-esteem and a sense of self-worth that can help buoy them as they take on the challenge of leaping into independence.
Send Them Off with Love and Clear Expectations
As they prepare to leave your home, Smith notes the importance of having clear expectations in place. Let them know what they can expect from you — how you can continue to show up for them and what support you’ll be able to offer. Let them know, “Here’s what we can provide, right? To not disappoint again — they’ve just been disappointed their entire lives,” she said.
One way you can impart your lasting support and encouragement, she suggests, is through a ritual she calls a “love jar.” Fill a jar with little notes of encouragement, sweet memories or compliments written for the departing youth by the members of your family.
As they carry this with them into the future, they can open it up and pull out a note anytime they need a pick-me-up or a reminder that they are loved.
Continuing to show up how and when you can after they leave your home will mean a lot, Ryan and Smith said. Inviting them to Sunday dinners, helping them unpack at their new apartment and just picking up the phone when they call. “Just really make yourselves available and say, ‘Is there anything that I could do to make this transition easier for you?’” Ryan said. “And then listen.”
Sara Tiano is Fostering Families Today’s assistant editor and a senior reporter for its sister news site, The
Imprint. Her journalism has been focused on foster care, child welfare and other issues facing youth and
families for more than seven years.
