Welcoming children home from foster care throws up multiple issues at times for resource parents. We asked our readers how they overcome such challenges to prevent caregiver burnout.
“Celebrate the little wins. You aren’t going to make huge progress but small wins add up. Don’t get overwhelmed by the things that aren’t changing fast enough. There will be a tipping point where things just click. We had a kid come in and tell us that they didn’t like us, then one year later ask us to adopt them. It took a lot of time, conversations and perseverance for all of us. As much as we are going through it, so are they. Give grace as much as you give love.”
“I’m pretty new to fostering so I love this post and reading ideas from others. I really struggled with balance with our first child. After a while, the two things that seemed to help were having 10 minutes or more before bed by myself to stretch, meditate and just have some quiet time. It wasn’t always the 10 minutes that mattered; the routine itself was good for the long run. And in fact, our child got used to that too since my room was above his. Secondly, I would take time off work not only to catch up on tasks but also relax. Not always doable but when I was able to swing it, it would save me.”
“I think it’s really important to give ourselves permission not to attain some sort of work/life balance. There’s really no such thing. Giving ourselves permission to prioritize needs, including our own, is key. Some days we will do so much more for others. Some days we can do a little extra for ourselves, even if that means we have to plan for it and accept that something might get missed when we aren’t 100% there. I give myself small chunks of time to just decompress, five extra minutes in the car, an extra dollop of whipped cream or eating lunch with a friend, picnic style. I don’t get a lot of extra time or money, but I take in as many “me moments” as I can.”
“It’s a little easier now that they are all in school. I work part time and go to lunch with friends once a week. I have also learned to take a half-hour nap or rest before the kids get home from school. Summers really mess with my routine.”
“I’m still trying to figure this one out. Balance is difficult, especially when you’re having to coordinate with others such as the foster care worker, case manager, bio parents and doctor’s appointments. All while working a full time job. Making time for myself away from the kids as well as time with my husband is always a goal.”
All responses taken from our Facebook groups: Foster Parenting Toolbox and Kinship Parenting Group. Want to be part of the next discussion? Join one of our groups at https://bit.ly/fftgroups.
